So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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