We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he fucked my hip out of place.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
