At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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