OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
