Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
