spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
