watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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