are you still at the devil's house?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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