i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize