Your tits are I can't wait for
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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