After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize