is your mom at the bar?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Who died my cat blue again?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
