TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
