so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
