well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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