google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
