They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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