Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
