so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
