In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
