I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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