You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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