Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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