girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The uberlube is also flammable
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Panties = found
Randomize
