Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
