Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
