that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
