In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Randomize
