Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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