'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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