Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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