You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
