she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
