ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
