I'm really into asian looking animals
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
