you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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