you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
