she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
