Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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