I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
