I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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