If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
