he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
