i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
