um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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