Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I am one with the molecules
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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