Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
