i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
