He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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