After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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