great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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