shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
