Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
