i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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