he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
