everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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