Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Even my vagina gasped.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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