He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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