He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
