im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
